烈焰灼身到底有多痛？頂著頭套和濕透的面罩，邊耐著連隔著防摔衣都會烏青的爆炸思索著，啥樣的人會一個個選擇赤身站上神轎。

半身龍虎的大哥，炮火裡轉了四圈，終於在人群歡呼中退了下來。雙腳抽搐，木然回頭向轎頂神尊拜了拜，隨即癱軟在小弟肩上；身上一塊塊皮掀了開，滲著焦紅。

聽聞年紀最小的是個十四歲少年。起駕半圈已破膽，倉皇揮著手裡榕枝要兄弟們放他下來。初生之犢，畏火不畏虎。也許等他也刺上虎身的那天，斑紋間刻痕橫亙，夠他酒後吹噓一輩子。

傷痕催勇武，烽火生信心。

帶路的山豬說，以前鞭炮是整串吊在竹竿上。神轎抬近時，一根根湊上去，貼在乩身皮肉上炸。想像轎上人眼裡那如臨大敵的畫面。眾人口中的狠角色，往往刻意挺身後仰，將榕枝置於身後，讓胸前炸得稀爛。直至某年，有個乩手轉了無數圈後，被硝煙熏得昏了過去，從轎上落下，頭著地當場沒命。

而在更早的記載裡，人們記得最勇的勇者，會將大串鞭炮一圈圈披在身上，讓人直接點火引爆，化為一團赤焰。

沒當成勇者，難以想像那是什麼光景。擠在擲彈的炮手身旁，流彈鑽進衣縫，已炸得灼燒不已。水汽流淌視線，隨神轎再次接近，化為一片白熱。下意識側了身， 然後伸出相機，盡可能逼近，盲目隨直覺按著，已是超脫。

底片許多都過曝了。或給鏡前炸個正著，徒留幾縷朦朧星火。留下的裡面，這是昨晚放出的第一張相。還會有些別的。

炮火下，閃燈也黯淡。

為了捉下赤白裡所有如夢似幻，我換上感熱紅外線底片，縮低光圈，將曝光時間盡可能拉長。邊掛上設定好高速頻繁閃爍的閃燈。

原還怕閃燈大剌剌直射將一切破壞殆盡，豈料完全多慮。炮雨迫近，漫天火光逼人睜不開眼。透著瞇成一條、汗水淋漓的視線，竟分不出到底點亮了什麼、被啥點亮什麼。只覺手中相機周身爆炸中似也震了一下，好吧，應該有拍到吧。

燈光終究點亮了些輪廓：逆光裡，勉以防身的黯淡迷彩、抖動不已的手指、還有層層頭巾裡，縮成一團的五官。

Not even flashlights beat the flaming firecrackers.

I loaded my camera with infrared films, wishing to capture all the dreamy flares, and stretched the exposure all the way long with minimum aperture possible. Repeated flashes then provided some freezing moments, blended with all the blurriness.

Once worried that those direct hard illuminations were gonna ruin the moods, turned out I underestimated the rain of flames. As it approached, the sky above ignited and turned into a blinding white. Through the blinded narrow vision, it was hard to tell what illuminated what. All I felt, was a blink vibration of the camera within my palm, amid all the surrounding explosions. Alright, maybe it did captured something.

The flash did illuminated some faint contour. The dark camouflage that barely protected, the shivering fingers that barely held still, and the twisted expressions that barely emerged under the wrapped up scarf.

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寒單 HANDAN／2019
Rollei Infrared Film @240ISO
Ilford Multigrade RC DeLuxe，Hand Printed手工放相
Selenium Toned 硒調色